Babar VS Rataxes, Part 1 By Bumper and Robert Brown "Welcome, ladies, and gentlemen, to a very special match-up today. Here we are, at Lake Celeste in Celesteville, where we shall see two titans of kinghood do battle below it's blue. First, in the gray rowboat, we have our king of the elephants, Babar! In the red rowboat, we have the king of Rhinoland, Rataxes! These two have been desirous of having it out for ages now, and now, in front of 2,000+ on the shores of the lake and on giant videoscreens underwater, they now have a chance to have it out! A lot! I'm Jumbo, and here beside me is Horner. Tell the viewing audience the rules, Horner!" "Well, Jumbo, the rules are very simple. First king, and I use the term loosely to describe that pompous elephant, to score 2 out of 3 victories wins it all. 15 minutes between rounds for...ah...medical attention. As always, there can be no outside interference, although I stress it this time so all the elephants can understand it. Babar is allowed to use a mask only because of his trunk, while Rataxes can use both mask and snorkel. That should even it up, don't you think?" "For once, one sided partner o' mine, I actually agree with you. One thing... notice they're wearing their crowns to this battle... wassup with that? Anyway, it looks like the ref from the shore is finally about to fire the starter's gun for this thing to finally start. I warn you people, this will be ugly, bloody, and not at all nice. We elephants will get to see a new side of our king, and you rhinos will see.... actually, probably nothing at all new out of yours. There's the gun, and they're both in like a shot! Let's switch on the underwater cameras now." "Rataxes is wearing his crown because he's proud of being a king. Babar's wearing his to cover that spot on his head that's more grey than it should be. Hey! No fair! Babar didn't even wait til Rataxes was in the water fully to slap him with that stupid trunk of his. Hey ref! Are you even watching this?" "No, Horner, because once that gun is fired, virtually anything goes in there. Well, they finally dragged each other under... they're really grappling already! This is great stuff, folks! Ooh, Rataxes caught Babar with a solid knee to the gut, a nice set-up move. Now a double elbow to the back of the head! Babar has hit the sediment in a shallow part of the lake in a daze, folks. Rataxes is coming after him.... let's see if he can't capitalize on this early advantage." "Oh look! He's grabbed hold of Babar's trunk and it looks like he's trying to twist it off. If Babar can't breathe right through that trunk, the real King will have a huge advantage the rest of this fight. Might as well start writing the impostor's obituary Jumbo." "You're probably right about that, but it won't be so easy to do that... ooh, check it out! Babar just started kicking him in the gut... the twisting is slowing down as Babar keeps kcking away. Look at that, Rataxes has let go, but Babar's trunk is hurting... he needs to start swimming off for a while and fight defensively. Looks like he's actually doing that somewhat, padding back a little... oh, my! Rataxes has him again!" "He's got him in a headlock now, squeezing him and....hey wait...oh no! He forgot to take a breath! Now he's gotta get to the surface to breathe. Aw man, he had Babar right where he wanted him.... But hey, it looks like Babar has the same idea, and Rataxes isn't letting him get to the surface." "Rataxes is taking a major, major risk here, folks... he seems to be betting on him outlasting Babar in holding breath. This is pretty tense stuff, folks... whoa! Babar is slowly pulling the Rhino king with him to the surface! Babar's really stretching that trunk... but will he make it, our will one of them drown first? Only they have an idea of what's truly happening right now, ladies and gentlemen. Remember, of course, this is two of three." "Of course it's two out of three; I told them that, remember? But you gotta admit, whoever gets the first victory has a big edge in the rest of the match. Why that dirty no good elephant, he poked Rataxes in the eye! And now Babar is getting his breath back while holding Rataxes underwater. Come on! Let him up you coward!" "Yeah, I wonder how you'd be reacting if their postions were reversed.... a win's a win. In a fight like this, that holds especially true, and you just said yourself whoever gets this first win will have a big advantage. Ow! Now THAT'S a cheap shot! Rataxes just nailed Babar right in the people's jewels! He's taken his breath, and he's not wasting any time whatsoever in dragging him back under." "And like you said, there's no such thing as a cheap shot. Rataxes is trying to get Babar in a bear hug so he can squeeze the breath out of him. But Babar's gut is so huge, he can't get the right leverage on him. He's gotta try something else before Babar can recover." "Rataxes has released the hold, and is now punching furiously at Babar's gut.... probably a smarter idea. Ah, Babar's finally recovered from the below the belt shot, and has now actuallyu reversed one of Rataxes' punches, turned him around, and all of a sudden, he's now got him in a chokehold from behind, trying to throttle all of Rataxes' air out of him! This getting to be a lot of what we expected, folks.... lots of grappling, close-up, in your face stuff. Rataxes is still struggling in that chokehold. He's in tough again." "Ahh, Rataxes has grabbed hold of Babar's arm and looks like he's going to....? What the hell? He tried to whip Babar off, but since they're in the water, all he managed to do was flip them both around a few times. And Babar's still hanging in with that hold...oh no! I think Rataxes can't tell which way is up! If he doesn't figure it out soon, he's a goner." "Along with screwing up the direction sense, they're also deeper now. It looks like 25 feet, and, indeed, Babar held on fast... well, Rataxes looks like he's regained his sense of direction, but he's already clearly straining desparately for air. Wow, a last ditch elbow in the gut finally frees Rataxes! However, as he swims, I doubt he'll make it...." "He definitely didn't make it, Horner.... Babar has broken the surface of the water, and this makes him the winner of this first round. The records record this round as ending at 5:23 with Rataxes' drowning. There are the crews, dragging out Rataxes' body as Babar swims for his boat for relax for the next 15 minutes. We will take a short break, folks, and we'll be right back!"